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　　　　If theres one type of people that I cant stand, its white people. White people think theyre so cool, but in reality, white people suck. They suck far, far worse than anything that has ever sucked before.

 

　　　　

　　　　如果說有哪種人是我不能忍受的，那就是白種人了。白人覺得他們很酷，但是實(shí)際上，白種人糟糕透頂。比其他任何東西都糟糕。

　　　　

　　　　For starters, white people dont even have any offensive derogatory terms in which to refer to them. Cracker? Honkey? Lame. If a black person was to be called a ******, or a Chinese person directly referred to as a chink, you would either be shot, or karate chopped on the spot. Call a white person a cracker and see what happens. Nothing. Theyre just going to get into their Ford Taurus and head on back to suburbia. Sure, different nationalities from which white people are derived have their own names that might cause controversy, but who gives a **** really.

　　　　

　　　　首先，在白種人的詞典里，對他們自己可沒有任何攻擊、損貶的詞語。白人佬（Cracker）？白鬼（Honkey）？錯(cuò)�？扇绻�一個(gè)黑人被叫******,或是一名中國人被叫做中國佬（chink），你肯定要么會吃槍子兒，要么就被空手道當(dāng)場砍倒。（空手道？！）。叫個(gè)白人白人佬試試看。什么都不會發(fā)生。他們只會走回他們的福特Taurus，開回他們在郊區(qū)的房子。當(dāng)然，從不同國家而來的白人們有各自的名字，這些名字也可能引發(fā)一場爭吵，可是誰會被叫做****啊。

　　　　

　　　　Another thing about white people is that they are scared. If you dont believe me, ring the doorbell of any random house at 2:30 in the morning. If a white person lives there, he’’ll open the door clutching a wooden baseball bat, while pissing on himself. You have no need to fear the bat, because he will not swing on you, nor will he even attempt to stop you from walking in and stealing his VCR. Now, if a black person or a Chinese person happen to dwell in the house, you would either be shot, or karate chopped before you even made it to the front door. To emphasize my point, take the Bird Flu for instance. A few chickens in Texas come down with a cough, and the entire European Union, which consists of, and is ran by white people, bans the import of chicken from the United States. Who gives a ****? Dont be a bunch of *******. Eat it, its good for you. This leads me to my next point.

　　　　

　　　　另一件關(guān)于白人的事情是：他們是驚弓之鳥。你要是相信我，那就在早上2:30按任意一戶人家的門鈴。如果這家住著白人，他打開門時(shí)手里會抓這木質(zhì)棒球棍，而且嚇得尿了褲子。你可不需要害怕這球棍，因?yàn)樗�不會拿這東西打你，你甚至也不需要擔(dān)心他會阻止你走進(jìn)房間偷走他的錄像機(jī)。而如果是一個(gè)黑人或是中國人住在房子里，你肯定在走入房間之前就吃了槍子兒，或者是被空手道當(dāng)場砍翻。為了強(qiáng)調(diào)我的觀點(diǎn)，我拿-舉個(gè)例。一直在德克薩斯的小雞得了咳嗽，繼而整個(gè)歐盟——它整個(gè)都是由白人構(gòu)成，也由白人運(yùn)行——禁止了從美國的雞肉進(jìn)口。Who gives a ****？別成為一群****。（這，，太抽象了，，不懂）吃了它，它對你有好處。這也讓我得出了下面的一個(gè)觀點(diǎn)。

　　　　

　　　　White people are uninteresting. For starters, the color white sucks. Mental institutions are painted white and mental institutions suck. Snow is white and it sucks. Tighty Whities were designed with the white person’’s itty bitty white penis and teeny tiny white balls in mind, and they suck.

　　　　

　　　　白人是無趣的。首先白色就很糟。精神病院都被漆成白色，而精神病院很糟。雪是白的并且雪也很糟。白色緊身內(nèi)褲是考慮到白人細(xì)小的（河蟹）Penis和超小的（河蟹）balls而設(shè)計(jì)的，而這也很糟。

　　　　

　　　　Take a look at the sporting events that white people participate in. Soccer? Hockey? Lame. Who wants to watch a game where youre lucky to ever see one where either team scores more than one or two points max? There is a grand total of 5 non-white people who participate in these sports (excluding Jamaica, China, Mexico, India, Korea, the entire continent of South America as well as Africa) and thats why they suck. Lumberjack olympics? Figure skating? Bull riding? HAHAHA! No need to explain. I know that many people will disagree with me when I say that these sports suck, but guess what? Theyre white. Who gives a ****.

　　　　

　　　　看看白人們參加的運(yùn)動吧。足球？錯(cuò)。你看見那場比賽有球隊(duì)得到1、2分以上？在這些運(yùn)動上，總共只有5個(gè)非白人民族參與（不包括牙買加、中國、墨西哥、印度、韓國和南美及非洲的大部分地區(qū)），這就是為什么它是糟糕的啦。伐木工人奧運(yùn)會？花樣滑冰？騎公牛比賽？啊哈哈哈哈哈！不解釋。我知道當(dāng)我說這些運(yùn)動很糟的時(shí)候很多人會不同意我，但是你猜怎么樣？他們是白的（由白人占主流）。Who gives a ****.

　　　　

　　　　White people have no skills. Mexicans are very efficient at stealing, fixing up lowriders, making burritos and sleeping. Black people are world renowned rappers, basketball players and breakdancers. They have also mastered the art of slapping 0es and jocking hoes. Chinese people are KungFu masters. What can white people do? Theyre pretty good at driving 55 in the fast lane on a highway. Theyre also pretty good at being shitty. The next time youre at a party, try picking up girls with your computer programming skills and see how far that gets you.

　　　　

　　　　白人完全沒有能力。而墨西哥在偷竊,安裝低底盤汽車，做墨西哥卷和睡覺方面很有能力。黑人是國際知名的說唱歌手，籃球運(yùn)動員和霹靂舞者。他們也很擅長**（譯者吐槽：這話也太臟了）中國人則是功夫大師。白人會做什么？他們倒是擅長在高速快車道上用55碼的速度駕駛。他們也擅長變得劣等。下次參加聚會，試著用你的電腦編程能力結(jié)識女孩，并且看看你們能走多遠(yuǎn)。

　　　　

　　　　Lastly, white people cant take a joke. Chances are, if you are white, you are on the phone with your lawyer right now trying to sue me for slander.

　　　　

　　　　最后，白人經(jīng)不起開玩笑�；蛟S經(jīng)得起的話，如果你是白人，那你就馬上給你的律師打電話控告我誹謗吧。